How are you doing today?

 It is such a simple question in normal circumstances, but it is such a heavily loaded question and brings so much stress for people with chronic pain. In cases where you cannot see the underlying issue and the person looks totally fine from outside, it becomes extremely tricky to answer this question honestly.

Let me explain this with an analogy. Let's say you have been given multiple responsibilities at work. Now your manager keeps a daily sync up to ensure you get all the help you need. In this meeting, he/she asks you a simple question: "How are things going?". When there is usual progress and occasional blockers, this meeting should be very straight forward. But in this case, let's assume you are unable to make any progress day after day. With each passing day, that simple question "How are things going?" becomes a bigger and bigger burden.

When I am asked how am I doing by acquaintances, its not very hard to respond. I just lie and say I am doing fine. 

But with people who care for you, it becomes tricky. You can almost see it in their eyes they want to see progress. They want you to feel better. They want you to have a better day. I feel people who are in pain and they don't know what is causing it, will just hide how they are really feeling even with their closest family and friends ( not talking about occasional pain episodes but the pain is there all the time). This was so true for me before my diagnosis.

But even when you know the cause and understand you are in pain all day, it is still hard to answer this question. It's not just about disappointing the other person. It's also about not being negative, not making everything about you ( as this question can be a simple habitual conversation starter). But the flip side is every time you do this, I feel you are belittling the reality you are facing, not acknowledging what you are really feeling.

The solution I have taken, which I understand is not the right thing, I never bring up my issue unless explicitly asked about it. But when asked by people close to me I try hard to at least tell half truth. But I can't help inserting positive outlooks like I am getting better, pain is less etc if the conversation drags on or this question comes up in consecutive days.

I guess a better solution is asking people close to you to rephrase the question from "How are you doing today?" to "On pain scale from 1 to 10, how is your pain level?".  It does make it dry but you are more forced to acknowledge the reality. Not really sure though.